HOW VALENTINE LOVE CAN BE LOST

The chosen Biblical text for many weddings is Paul’s eloquent description of love found in 1 Corinthians 13. These warm words frequently capture the hearts of lovers and are often chosen to either precede or follow their marriage vows. Why then do these same people often find their love declining? Why has the valentine atmosphere vacated their relationship? What causes love to be lost?

The answer to these questions may be found in the neglect of six words in this popular quote that explain what love is all about: “Love suffers long and is kind.” Without kindness, love loses its meaning and therefore doesn’t last.

I once wrote to a friend to thank him for a comment he made when I visited him shortly after his wife’s death. Reminiscing over their years together, he explained the reason for their long and successful marriage in one simple, yet profound, expression of love: “We were good to each other.”

There had been nothing complicated about their warm and lasting relationship. I doubt that they ever found it necessary to consult a counselor and at the time they were married few ministers gave much attention to premarital advice. Still they enjoyed many happy years together because they were good to each other; they were patient and kind.

An old song says, “You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn’t hurt at all.” That once popular tune could be the theme song of many hurting homes.

Looking back on more than twenty years of a good marriage, Jerry Jenkins, co-author of the best-selling “Left Behind” book series, explained how he and his wife kept their home a safe haven for love, writing: “We know each other’s weaknesses, and we don’t exploit them. Long ago, we discussed how unattractive it was to hear spouses bad-mouth

each other, or to find some quirk, some irritating habit, and make a joke of it. That’s not love. Love is building up each other.”

In his book “Love is the Greatest,” George Sweeting says “People are always hungry for kindness” and adds, “Kindness then ought to be a natural part of relating to those we love, but sometimes it’s when we’re with those closest to us that being kind is most difficult.”

Preparing his readers for such times, Sweeting wrote: “A large part of being kind is the patient willingness to put up with the abuse or ridicule that comes our way. Usually that patience is needed most just when it is exhausted.”

If you long to be consistently kind but find your patience running on empty, try Peter Marshall’s well known prayer: “When I am wrong, dear Lord, make me easy to change, and when I’m right make me easy to live with.”

My friend and his wife had discovered how to welcome God into their marriage and He made their mutual kindness possible. They were faithful in the services of their church, prayed together and were eager to help others. The love of God flowed through their marriage and brought an atmosphere of kindness to their home.

Be kind to your valentine today.

You can’t start being kind too soon because you never know when it will be too late.

STRENGTH FOR ALL SEASONS

Poets and preachers have long pointed out the similarities between the seasons of the year and life.  In effect, we’re all born in January and immediately start heading toward December.  Along the way, we’re initiated into life’s realities by the cold winds of winter, welcomed by the striking colors and flowery fragrances of spring, warmed by the pleasant breezes of summer, made thoughtful by the breathtaking beauty of our sentimental journey through fall and finally, in December, belatedly find ourselves beginning to think seriously about eternity.
We’re also affected by the seasons of the soul.  An old hymn said, “Sometimes I’m up; sometimes I’m down, but all the time I’m heaven bound.”  The composer, like most
of us, had evidently known both valleys and mountaintops during his journey but had wisely concluded these ups and downs of life had no bearing on the ultimate outcome.  Faith provided him a strong anchor when waves were high and assurance that a safe harbor waited after life’s storms.
Answering the knock on our door, I faced a grieving father and mother of a young sailor.  “All of our castles have tumbled,” said the father, explaining that their son had been swept overboard while standing fog watch in the north Atlantic and wasn’t found.  My responsibility was to comfort them; to give them hope; a seemingly impossible task but their faith rose to the occasion.  These brokenhearted parents were confident about their son’s relationship to his Lord and this gave them strength in their season of sorrow.
Friends of ours experienced severe financial reverses. Their formerly thriving business was closed and they lost their home.  In spite of these tough trials, however, they found strength through their faith in God to keep them from despair.  While out of work, they volunteered for missionary work in the South Pacific, reaching out to needy people with the message of God’s love.
Job had been the wealthy father of seven sons and three daughters.  Everything seemed to be going his way.  Then trouble came in like a flood.  His children died.  He lost his wealth and health. His formerly faithful wife became so depressed that she urged him to turn against God and die (Job 2:9).  Even during this season of trouble, however, Job’s faith remained strong, enabling him to comfort his grieving wife by telling her this melancholy mood was out of character, proving his love for her was unchanged.
In what season do you find yourself? Are you so down that you wonder if God cares?
Martin Luther once felt as you do today.  Then he heard a bird singing its evening song.  As he watched, he saw the bird tuck its head under a wing and fall asleep.  In writing of this experience, Luther said: “This little bird has had its supper and is now getting ready to go to sleep, quite content, never troubling itself as to what its food will be or where it will lodge on the morrow.  Like David, it abides under the shadow of the almighty.  It sits on its little twig content and lets God care.”
My conversation with a December man (in his nineties) turned to the subject of heaven.  “The days are getting brighter all the time” he said. His faith had been active for so long that he knew it would be sufficient for all seasons…even the final one.